March 17, 2014
When I was pregnant with my first child, we lived in Berkeley, and I really, really wanted a Bob's Big Boy hamburger. Unfortunately, we lived a good distance from Los Angeles and Bob's, so I had to wait for a few months to satisfy my craving. At least I never had weird cravings like pickles and ice cream while pregnant. I thought a hamburger was rather normal, and I can still imagine the taste of those burgers.
I was thinking about this the other day when I went from store to store shopping for a new microwave after setting off a fire in my old one by roasting a potato too long. I decided that I absolutely had to have a Costco hotdog for lunch. This urge comes upon me about once a month. After eating the hotdog, I had my second urge and drove through the outdoor window of Dairy Queen for a Peanut Buster Parfait. That's one that comes around about every six months -- an urge that my good sense can usually overrule. Unfortunately, Saturday was a day of weakness. Those two items broke all my usual standards for a healthy meal. But, hey, it was Saturday and I was feeling stressed. I had to find a microwave that would fit into a little space in my bookcase. It took five stores until I broke down and tried Walmart. Voila! There it was. And, for only $60.00.
I don't crave particular foods often. Oh, there are food that are hard to turn down if I'm out to eat or at a dinner party. Ice cream is probably my biggest weakness -- not really a craving, More of a hankering. Every once in awhile, I also get a hankering for macaroni and cheese or pasta. Maybe I should categorize my likes on a scale from enjoy to hankering to craving. Perhaps cravings settle down when you get to be my age. Somehow they lose their strength, or I'm just getting better at tempering my desires.
I wrote in a recent church devotional publication that I had a passion for tea. On occasion I have given up tea for Lent because I thought it would be logical to give up something that I indulged in daily instead of something like chocolate which I rarely eat. I tried it again this year -- and it lasted one week. Just one week!!! I got up one morning and simply had to have a cup of tea. This appears to be my weakest Lent. Oh well, I'm hanging loose all over the place these days.
I really enjoyed that hot dog and Peanut Butter Parfait!
March 5, 2014
Winter, Winter, Winter
My cold is gone, but the cold weather is not. The snow melted and then came again a few days later. We've had two snowy Sundays and low attendance at church (I've been told since I wasn't there). I wake up in the morning to the ever present sounds of dripping water somewhere -- and I'm just tired of it all. I have friends in Arizona, California, Florida, and Hawaii, and I wish I were there also.
The other day I was talking to Dani who was over doing some editing at my house (a good retreat from her family when she needs to get serious work done without other demands). I mentioned feeling low energy probably following my cold. She looked at me and her father came out of her mouth. "Mom," she said (instead of Marilyn) "You always feel this way in February. It is dreary." Her father was always my barometer -- reminding me that life is normal and that all those doldrums around this time of year are fleeting and soon gone when spring arises. It's nice to be reminded. It's nice to know that Donel lives on through his children.
I'm facing another birthday and the reminder that life is fleeing. I'm so fortunate to be healthy and to have so much going on in my life that keeps me busy and satisfied. But, I sometimes wonder about ruts -- what keeps me doing the same things over and over? Or, conversely, what have I dropped that used to be a large part of my life? How much of my busy involvement in church is simply a carry over from being the pastor's wife? Why don't I do some of those things I used to love to do? Did I outgrow them? Did I get too old for them? What keeps me from trying new things? Going new places? Why am I in dreary Washington instead of sunny California at this time of year? How am I different from the person I have become?
Life, at best, is so complex. But, one thing is for certain. The main reason I feel grounded, the center of my life, and the reason for being has a great deal to do with my family and friends. Whether near or far, those are the things I would never change. I may decide to go in some new directions in the next few years, I may decide to travel more or pull away from some of my commitments, but never my family and friends. They are simply the dearest things in my life. My children are my joy, my friends are my warmth, my memories are dear.
On this, my birthday week, a week where it is dreary and cold and I'm feeling like spring will never come, I actually feel incredibly blessed!